Kelly’s Story: Loss, Cancer & Finding Strength

Generated automatically from the recording, so expect the odd misheard word.

Welcome to Between Neighbors. I'm Carly. And this is Kat. Your favorite neighbors are back. Episode eight. Yes, it is. This is an exciting episode. I think so too. So excited. Yes. We have a guest. We sure do. Guest member two. Yeah. So yeah, we're super excited. It's gonna be it's gonna be a great day. Yes, it is. So, real quick, let's catch up a little bit. We had a fun weekend, right? Yeah, we did. Man, I I feel like it was non-stop. Yeah. I'm not like this was the first weekend that it was something every day. It's been a while. I mean, we're saying weekend, but we're already on Friday right now. I know, but like because we post, you know, well they know. We record on Fridays, post on Tuesdays. Yes. So from last weekend. Yeah, so our first guest, Chantel, she had her grand opening of the venue that she was talking about, the Marianne, and we went there. Yeah, the launch party. Yeah. What are what were your thoughts? Um, I thought it was really nice, beautiful, very nice job. Um, after seeing her pictures, we were talking about it last night, that she um like the tiles. Oh, yeah. We were like amazed. I didn't I had no idea that she legit was like on the ground me putting those tiles together. Yeah. It looked so pretty. So when you first walk into the venue, there's like almost like a mosaic of tiles on the ground that say the Marianne, and it's like very elegant and pretty, and we assumed she like hired someone to do it, but um then we saw pictures on Facebook that she actually did that all herself, which bravo looked fabulous. Um yeah, the party was really fun and we had a great time. It was really nice to be there and see the space, and I'm excited to see what she all does with it. Oh yeah, for sure.

It was cool. Then I went to brunch on Sunday for like four hours. The waitress, she kept coming. I mean, I haven't seen my friend for a few years, besides like just talking on the phone and whatnot. Um, but that waitress, she kept coming. She's like, Oh, she was so sweet though. She's like, take your time. Whenever you're ready, just put your menus at the end of the table. And we were just like talking like it was just us in there. Like then there were like at least like three families that like came and left that were like next to us. But I also was like, oh my god, the things that we were like saying and talking about was probably a little inappropriate, but it was great. So then, yes, I definitely had to recharge them. Well, and this is a potential guest, right? Oh, yes, that's true. Yeah, so that's exciting. TBD, yeah, TBD. Okay, so now to introduce our guest of the evening, a fellow neighbor. Yes, Kelly is with us today. Hi Kelly, hi guys. Um she was so nervous, but we warmed her up.

Literally, yeah, literally, their blood is floating. I just want it. I'm just wanting to, so this is gonna be fun. Yeah, can we mention what you guys did? We took a little shot at tequila. Maybe we do.

Oh my god. Yeah, and I watch.

You do have your sparkling water. Yeah, I'll drink my LaCroix over here and we'll make it up in spring, don't worry. Oh, yes, the show. But yes, Kelly is here today. Um, she is awesome. She's one of our actual neighbors, not just like this little neighborhood community we have now, like physically. And what year did you move in, Kelly?

Which when did you move in? Um, I was August, you were September. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Our houses were being built at the same time. Same model.

Do you feel right at home right now? I do. Well, it's a little bit. Yours have way nicer than mine. Oh five. I have a lot of toys and well, you have little kids. Yeah. Dents in the wall from toys. Oh, there's dents from my boys. I can't wait to actually paint my house though.

Yeah. There's like so many marks on my baseboards right now from like the toys that just go like slamming into them, and it's like, we're just gonna wait a little bit. Yeah, mine are like backpacks with those big water bottles. And so like when they like turn from like the little area over here into the garage, it's like dent, dent. I mean, what are you gonna do? You gotta live. You gotta love it. Exactly. Yeah, I can't be perfect. No, my dad used to freak out, like, there would be like a small handprint on the wall, and he would lose his mind on us. So I made like a conscious decision. I'm like, when I am adult, it's gonna be okay. Okay, I feel like again, we have like the same parents because my dad never like we never put a a nail in the doll. Putting even hanging TVs, yes, with so okay, because he like for us, it's like your icon is on the wall, and then a few of these like old school like Serbian photos that you know we have or paintings. Other than that, there is not like a single like pictures are in frames, not on the wall. Like, there are no nothing. Like when I was at your house and I was like, are your parents? I was like, oh my gosh, this is so beautiful. Like all your pictures, absolutely not. Ours is like on a mantle. That's it. Okay, but can I tell you a secret though? What you're gonna die. Are those stuck on there? They are all push pinned on there because my dad will not allow my mom to push literally push pins, but they look so perfect. Well, I think she uses like multiple. She's had to like figure out things like he would go out of town and she would like put up stuff, so it like she'd be like, we're just saving his heart. Because what is it about putting holes in walls that they like lose their own? There might be that like age group of and I don't know. I in it they're like both very handy men, right? Like, I mean, he does his own. I mean, that dude will replace a water heater to save a dime, and he doesn't even need to save a dime, but like he will haul like a hundred-pound water heater up and down the stairs. It's just that generation, yeah, for sure. Like a pride thing, too. I feel like maybe I don't know. My goodness, but but yes, okay, Kelly.

Yeah, so um, and just like talking with Kelly, like I think in the last episode I had mentioned like going through a really hard year, and uh Kat has brought that up as well, and we've really bonded just over different things, walks of life, and one thing that she brought up was that she had a really hard year, and so we were hoping that today she would feel comfortable kind of sharing her story um and going through like how you overcame what you did, what that year looked like from you, and just anything you're really comfortable sharing with us today. Yeah, sure.

Um okay, what year was it? 2021? Yeah, so right after Irvine, I think COVID was actually kind of still going on at that point. Um, we had just gotten married in 2020. That's a whole other story where we had to reschedule our wedding like three times, but that's a whole other thing. But so we got married and then obviously we wanted to start a family. So um in April of 2021, I ended up having an eptopic pregnancy. Uh people don't really talk about it, so it's not like well known. I had no idea really what it was until like I went through it, because as soon as like something's wrong, you Google everything and try to figure out what's going on. Um, but well, really quick, you know.

Yeah, explain. So for people that may have no idea what an eptopic pregnancy is, like what does that actually mean?

So it's when um the uh what is it, the egg or whatever gets implanted outside of the yeah, in your fallopian tube. So it's not in your uterus. Um and I mean it's deadly. Like if you don't catch it in time, it could rupture and you could it essentially like bleed out, like it's it's bad. So if you catch it in time, obviously then things could have I've known people who have lost like a fallopian tube from it and everything. Um but thankfully for me I it was caught soon enough. But um, yeah, that's kind of essentially what it is.

Sure. Okay, so you um like you found out you were pregnant, or what did that look like?

Yeah, I started spotting, and I've never spotted in my life, and I was like, something something's off. So I actually called my best friend who's a nurse, and I was like, Hey, like I always call her when there's something wrong. Like, can you give me like a diagnosis essentially? Um, and she was like, Uh, have you taken a pregnancy test? I was like, No. She's like, Well, why don't you try it, at least rule something out? And I said, Okay, so I did, and it was positive. So I immediately was like, Oh my god, yeah, I'm pregnant. And like at that point, like I wanted to like record it, like you know, like when you take tests and you record to get your reaction, like I want to do all that. Well, that was all out the window because I was just like, Oh my god. And I told Jason, and then I called my best friend back, and I was like, Oh my god, I'm pregnant. And she goes, Oh, that's awesome. She's like, But like, you should really go get checked out. Like, like, did she say why or no? She was just like, It because like spotting and that I had a normal period before like nothing was like out of the ordinary outside of just spotting. So she's like, It's probably good for you to just go call and get checked out. And so I did, and I went in, they took blood work, um, and then they said that my levels weren't very high, so they wanted me to come back. It was either 24 or 48 hours, I can't remember, to come back and get more blood work done to see if my levels increase. But at this point, you still don't know that it's it was pregnant, like I was pregnant. So regular, okay. Yeah, so like they confirmed it, but the levels just weren't at the numbers based on like the time frame or like the date. It wasn't as high as they wanted it to be. So then I had to get retested with my blood work, and then that was over like Easter weekend. So in the back of my mind, all weekend I'm thinking like, you're pregnant, what's going on? I'm pregnant, but like I can't tell anybody because what if I'm not like something's off? Right. Um, and then you're probably thinking, like, why aren't my numbers right? I mean, like, you need more info, yeah. And this is all like super new to me because it's first time being pregnant, so I had like no idea what these levels mean, like all that.

So that's when I went down a rabbit hole and like Google and trying to figure out what's wrong. And then you see all the different types of things that could potentially be what's causing it. Um, and then they messaged me, I think, like on Monday, and they're like, uh, your levels were increasing, but not, I think it's supposed to be like doubling by that point, and it wasn't. So they're like, We want you to come in and do more blood work. So I think I went back in, I think like twice just to see because it still like wasn't going up, and at that point they're like, uh, like you're pregnant, but the levels just aren't where we want them to be at this point. And then I remember and there's still no like ultrasound anything or nothing. They acted like it wasn't like a big deal at all. So, like, that was like I was always like, I don't know what's going on. Like, I feel like this is a big deal, but they're not really explaining anything to me.

Did they just say like we're just gonna keep monitoring it?

Yeah, they were like, it could be like an uptopic pregnancy, it could they like listed it could be like a bunch of different things, so they wanted to keep monitoring and just doing the blood work. And then I remember one day Jason and I we went out to lunch or something, and I got a phone call, and they were like, um, like based on your levels, like we were saying like you're having an uptopic pregnancy, and they're like, you need to immediately go to this location, it's like a cancer wing, and get these shots. Um, so essentially what the shots do is they cause you to have like a miscarriage.

Um, so I immediately had to go to the hospital and they took me back to the cancer wing and like put me into this room, and she comes in and she's like, Alright, you have two shots in your butt, let's go. Kind of like nothing, like nothing. Like it's just like another, I mean, for them it I mean they see a lot of people. Oh no, but like come on, like some bedside manner. And then after they're like expect to be bleeding for a little bit, and then you can start trying. I think it was like three, I can't remember, it was a couple, two months or something like that. You had to wait like to have like a period, and then you had to were you in any pain? Yes. So over the I remember when we were going to my family's house for Easters, like at my brother and sister-in-law's house. On the way there, I was like, I'm having extreme pain in like one side. It was like a cramp. Extreme, like it was like a really, really, really bad cramp. And I remember being like, oh, like this is really painful, but it went away, like it would just come like randomly and go, and that's probably why. Yeah, because of that topic right now. So you like if you've ever had like a cyst on your ovary, like that super painful, but like this is even a bigger deal, right?

Um, and they had still not done an ultrasound or anything. Did they ever do one to confirm? You just went, got the shot. Yep. Wow. Just based on the blood work, because the levels were like literally they were not high like at all, but it still showed pregnant. And what she expected is that the levels were just gonna start dropping, like I was gonna have like a miscarriage on my own, and it just didn't happen, and that's when they were like, were concerned. It was just a terrible experience. Ended up changing doctors after all of that, but um yeah, because it was like you never they only call me the one time, yeah.

Like during the whole time, it was like I wasn't getting any communication, I had to reach out and they were just messaging me. And it's like your first pregnancy. You have no idea what's going on, and it's not going the way that like people typically talk about discreet, yeah. So my god, yeah, that happened. Um, but then we fast forward to August. Uh Jason and I we went on our second honeymoon because the first one wasn't truly our honeymoon because it was during COVID. So we went to Hawaii, and um I remember not feeling a hundred percent, like I felt like something was off, and I'm like, oh, could I be pregnant? But I'm like, mm-hmm, I'm gonna wait, like I'm not gonna take a test, like I'm gonna whatever. Well, we had a little bit too fun, too much fun one night, and like I drank a lot and I ended up getting sick, but like I rarely get sick, and Jason's like, something's off. And I'm like, no, I I just drank like why I had because whenever I have salt seltzers or whatever, I might like upsets my stomach. And I was like, I had a seltzer last night. He's like, that's not what caused this. I'm like, all right, well, let's go to Target. So we went to Target and I got a test, but I'm like, I'm gonna wait like a couple more days to see in the light, I was like, I'm gonna wait a couple more days because technically I'm not supposed to get my period. So I'm like, I don't want to test too soon, whatever. But then I'm thinking about it constantly. And we just had like breakfast, and like I'm gonna go test, like whatever. He didn't know, I just like went into the bathroom and I like saw the line. I'm like, oh my god, I'm pregnant. And so like I sub, like that was like I got to record him, like that was like the like big reveal kind of thing. Um, so we were like super excited, kind of ruined the honeymoon a little bit because then I was like sick.

And you like couldn't uh in all of like the festivities, I'm sure. So I had that one night, and then after that I was like, I feel awful. Um, and then we were at, I think it was like towards the end when we were there. I got a call from my doctor, my uh dermatology, my dermatologist, and she was like, Hey, we got your results back. Because right before I left to go um on our honeymoon, I got like a full-body like mole check because I have a lot of moles. And I remember my best friend, same one from before, she had seen like a mole on my arm, and she's like, that looks funny, you should go get it checked out. So, shout out to her because she's helped me through like some big huge things. Like good friends, yeah, keep her around. I know I will.

Um, and so then I went and got a full check, they removed some moles or whatever, and they just called me, and this is my first time going there, so again, wasn't really sure like what the protocol is there, and they're like, Hey, we want you to come in, we got your results, we want you to come in. And immediately I'm like, that's not good news. And I'm in like Hawaii, so the time difference is off. So, like when I tried to call them back, they weren't open, and so I called them back, they wouldn't tell me anything. They're like, Yeah, we'll just get you in as soon as you're back. I'm like, Okay, fine, like um, I'm home Saturday for Sunday, and I was like, they'll get me in Monday morning. Like, great. So then I'm panicking and I'm like, something's off. And Jason's like, don't think about it, like, let's enjoy the honeymoon. Like, it's not something we should worry about. Like, don't I always do this thing where I get like super anxious and like worried about something before I actually hear what the news is, and he's like, Stop freaking out, of course, yeah, right? Like all the time. He's like, You're worried about, like, you don't even know what's wrong, so just calm down. I'm like, Okay, fine. Well, I mean, they can live life.

I know you just have I feel like women have this intuition, especially one, the doctor's not giving you information over the phone, and two, everyone knows how hard it is to get into the dermatologist. You're telling me they could get you in Monday morning, like you're like something's off. Exactly.

Yeah, um, and so I go in Monday, and Jason didn't come with me because again, I just we didn't know like what was gonna happen. And I remember because we still had to wear masks, so I walk in with a mask, I go into this room, and my doctor's not even in. It's not the person that I saw, it's a different doctor. She literally just walks in and is like, um, so we got your results. Uh you have melanoma, so you have cancer. And I was like, My god, uh what?

Yeah, so you just find out you're pregnant. Yep. And then like within that same vacation, yeah, like within less than a week. You're finding out you have cancer.

Yeah, and I'm like, what? And I like kind of blacked out, I don't really remember much, but I just remember being there and her just like hearing her talk and

I didn't want to cry, but um here

um I just remember like hearing voices and just starting cry because I got just started panicking because I'm like, I'm pregnant. I'm like, oh god, here we go again. Something's gonna happen. And I didn't know what. And she was just like, Yeah, so we're gonna send you to an oncologist to get checked out. And then I just started crying, and she's like, Are you okay? Uh no, right? And I was just like, I'm pregnant, and she's like, What? I'm like, I'm pregnant. Like, I literally just found out last week, like I haven't even gone in to like to a doctor to confirm it or anything. And she's like, um, okay, well, we're gonna get you scheduled at the oncologist and we'll go from there. And I'm like, okay, and she's like, any questions? And at that point, I'm like, I probably, but like, yeah. So I remember I left and I immediately called Jason and I was like, I had cancer, and he he was driving home, I think from work, and he was like, What? I'm like, I had cancer, and he's like, What do you well he's like slow down because I just started like yeah freaking out. Yeah. And he's like, I'll be home in like 20 minutes, like we're gonna get through this, like, don't worry about it. And I remember just coming home and like going into bed and just crying

because like I mean, I didn't like look into it, I didn't know anything. I was just like devastated, and my hormones are like through the roof. Right. And I just remember him coming in and just like hugging me and just like saying it's gonna be okay, we're gonna figure this out, like one step at a time. Like he was my my rock through like the whole thing, but um, so that's like how I found out and then immediately got in with the oncologists.

Like so, wait, they didn't tell you anything like hey, you know, this mole that we tested, or is it kind of a blur? Like it's kind of a blur, okay. Because you know, you hear cancer and you're like, Well, how bad is it?

You know, or like what I do think I actually remember asking, like, they didn't know that's why they wanted me to go to the oncologist because they just did like um where they shave it off and they test it, so they didn't know the severity.

So they just know, hey, this mole is cancerous, and now you have to go figure out how much it has.

Because I think she's like, we probably have to have like she just went down, I think, like the typical protocol, like you have to have surgery, get it like removed, and then when I said I was pregnant, it kind of just like stopped everything. And that's when she was like, um like we'll go to the oncologist, like we'll have to talk there. And that's when I found out when I met with the oncologist that I have a very rare case because I was pregnant. They don't have a lot of studies around it. Um because I guess when you're pregnant, it can enhance it. Okay. So like they were afraid they didn't know how deep it was until they get in for surgery and stuff like that. Because if it could hit my bloodstream because I was pregnant, it could make it move quicker. So that's why they were like, we don't know the studies around this, there's not that much information. So we have to be like super cautious about it. And that's why it was like high risk for my pregnancy too. Um okay, can I ask a dumb question? And I'm sorry.

Um, so like when you hear people that go and get like moles tests, and it's like, oh, the dermatologist just like cuts it off of them. Are is that different than what because obviously they referred you to an oncologist right away, so it must have tested for yeah, it came back, tested for melanoma. Okay. Oh yeah, I think there's a difference between like, isn't it called like mole surgery?

Like MOA where they like go in and I know there's like different types. Basically, what mine was is what they had planned is like they cut like a certain, it's almost like a square or like a diamond around the mole because they want to get the the skin removed that's like around to make sure like they get all of the cancer off. And then while they're in there too, they also removed three of my lymph nodes in my armpit to test to make sure the cancer hadn't spread over there. Okay, if they got they confirmed that they got all the cancer around my arm, and then they tested my lymph nodes and that nothing was in there, then we were like in the clear, like it hadn't spread. Okay, got it. Yeah. Um, so yeah, so I ended up, I remember the next day too. I found all that out. I had to go to work the next day, and I remember I like walked into work, found I'm pregnant, found out this. Right. I don't know why I went into the office that day. I'm an idiot for that. But I remember I walked in and I saw my coworker and she's like, Oh my god, how was it? And I looked at her, she was oh my god, something's wrong. She goes, What is it? And then I like broke down and like told her about it. And I'm like, and I'm pregnant. And I'm like, I shouldn't be telling people like this early. And she was like, Oh my god, Kelly. Like, I mean, she was there for me too, and then I had to tell my my boss at the time too, and like I cried to her, like it was just bad. She's like, Do not come into the office, like, figure it out. But um, so yes, then I went to the oncologist, she was awesome. Um, she told us like what she was gonna do, and she said, Because of me being pregnant, they're gonna be extra cautious, like they um the like the anesthesia and all this stuff. So their original plan, they had like A, B, and C. The first plan was that they were just gonna numb me and then do the surgery, so I'd be awake during the whole thing. Um, I don't really remember what B and C was because I probably wasn't Jason, was the one that was listening to everything. Um, and then I had told her too. I was like, okay, and then I was like, I still haven't gone to see an OB yet. And they said that they won't get me in until October. And she was like, that's not happening. She goes, I'm calling, I'm getting you in with somebody like this week.

And so then it was all up in Milwaukee. So then I had to go see a high risk, because then I was considered high risk because of all of this. Um, I ended up having the surgery, and in surgery, I remember because she was like, if you feel anything at all, you need to let me know. And I remember I'm like, I feel that. She goes, Okay, we're going to plan B. And I was like, Okay, I forgot what plan B was. And the nurse, she was this such a sweetheart. She looks at me, she goes, I am pregnant with twins. I promise you, on my life and on my twins, that what we like, we're gonna put you to sleep. But I forgot like what they were. She's like, I promise you, everything is safe. And I looked at her, I'm like, Okay, I trust you. Oh my god. And so after that, I like fell asleep and woke up and everything. Um, but yeah, they removed it, everything came back fine. Um, and I remember at my follow-up, the doctor, she's like, I didn't bring it up after like to your husband or anything when we like talked to him, but she's like, When we like cut open for your lymph nodes, they were like some of them were black, and she's like, I panicked, and I was like, Oh my gosh, it like spread. Well, I have a tattoo like right by my rooks. Oh my god so the ink when they tattooed me, like went into my bloodstream, so it went into my lymph nodes. So when they tested, it was fine. But she was like, I panicked freaked out. Was like, oh my gosh, this poor girl has black lymph nodes, and she's gonna like this is devastating. And then she's like, But then I saw your tattoo and I was like, hopefully that's the case. And she's like, now we can laugh about it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, thank God. But yeah, she's like, I got really nervous for you, but I'm so happy that everything like came back, and then so that was her. Then she I had to go see a different person in the oncology wing because then from there on every three months until February, so I that was uh October of 2021, every three months until I think the last time I went was February of 2023.

Yeah, I had to go get CT scans. I got blood work done. The amount of blood work that I did in that year was insane.

So they did a CT while you were pregnant, too.

Okay, but they did it like they were safe about it, yeah. What they were scanning, and then I had to get an ultrasound on top of the ones at the OB to make sure it wasn't like a traditional ultrasound, just making sure I don't know what, but just making sure nothing has spread and that everything looked normal. Um, and then before, like I had an MRI at one point, um, like all the like it just is like a blur now, but tons of testing. And then the worst part was is they're like, okay, like everything's showing good, but once you give birth, we need to test the placenta to make sure nothing's like spread to the baby. So like the whole pregnancy, my god, I have to just be like that's what like you're fixating on, I'm sure. And so then, like when I gave birth, I'm like, I kept a like, is the placenta okay? Like, did they test it? Is it fine? Like, did anything come back? I mean, it was fine, but like it was awful because it's just like okay, you're good, but you're good, but like the results are coming back, but we don't know what we don't know until the baby's born, right? So oh my gosh, so yeah, it was a terrible year, but I got little Carson out of it.

So and he's perfect, yeah, he's a wild boy, the boy, yeah, he's a handful, but yeah, so it was it was an experience. Oh my god, that is a that is a crazy, like talk about you know, we've we talked about this before too, like your life changing, like you know, waking up and having an issue or like getting that news, like what it's just crazy how life can change on like a flip of a coin, yeah, you know.

So like that pregnancy, it's kind of like like I don't remember ever really being sick. I know I was sick in my first trimester, but my mind was like in so many different places, and that's why when I had Benny, I was like, this is a whole different experience because like now it's like not that I can enjoy it, but like I don't have this thing in the back of my head being like, is something wrong? Is something wrong? Is something wrong? Um goodness, and then too with that when we with the whole cancer thing, we couldn't tell anybody that I was pregnant because I didn't want to say anything until the surgery happened, until everything came back clear. Right. So like we had to kind of delay that, but um so that's why when we told like our family and stuff, they're like, What? I'm like, yeah, they're like you were dealing with all of this. I'm like, yeah, but like I didn't want to have to have that conversation again of being like, Right, we're not pregnant, actually, or like something, god forbid something happened. So wow, dang you.

That's what I was just thinking, like, you are so strong, seriously. Thanks, guys.

That is a lot to like and you're growing a human through all of that, and your hormones, like I mean the amount of actually I don't really have that many gray hairs, but I probably I aged a lot probably during that time. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So do you now go is it like yearly, or do you have to continue to go for scans or what is it? Um so after everything, I had to go like every three months for I think it was like two years. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was like you had to go three times a year for so many times, and I think right now I'm still in the twice a year.

And then I think next year is then gonna be once a year for the rest of my life. Wow. And I've gotten like more removed since then, but luckily none of them have come back with like melanoma again.

So how big like for scale was the mole? Like a quarter size, a penny size?

Oh, not even that big. It was smaller than a penny.

Really? Mm-hmm. Okay.

A penny is big. Yeah, it was like uh I'm trying to think.

I mean it was like

okay, like uh what's I don't know, I don't know. Like attack.

Yeah. Maybe yeah, like a big ladybug? Yeah, maybe like that. Yeah, and it was just like the shape of it was off.

Okay.

Um flat or nose a little bit raised. Okay, and I it's hard to because I didn't ever really like notice it because it was on the back of my arm. Sure. I don't really see it. Yeah. Um, and now I have my little shark bite. Yeah, shark bite. Shark bite. Jason calls it my shark bite because it literally there's a chunk of out of my arm, so it literally looks like an animal bit me. I mean, that's a pretty like badass thing to say if someone asks like a shark bite. No, when I was like Hawaii, shark bit me. Uh we always find a joke. I know with it because like it's super self-conscious about it. But like now, I'm just like when someone's like, Oh my god, yeah, this is my shark bite.

Um Honestly, Kelly, I have seen you numerous times in like tank tops, I feel like, and I had never like noticed it until you pointed it out. Yes.

I feel like sometimes I'd point it out just to like get it out there.

Yeah, it's like yeah, like FYI, this is what it is. Yeah. Well, when you're self-conscious about something, you're like, I'm sure this person is looking at this. Let me just tell them what it is right away. Like, I know, like with my face, I would do that all the time. Like, by the way, I'm recovering from Bell's palsy, and they're like, Okay. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like a self-conscious thing. Yeah, I understand that.

And my best friend told me because I was talking to her about it, like how it was self-conscious, and she was like, she told me something, like either something she read or what, but she was like, every single person, like when you're in a room, what you're thinking about, nobody else is thinking about because they're thinking about their own insecurities. Yes. So, like, you shouldn't worry about what people are thinking about you because they're so focused on their own insecurities. This is the same friend. Same friend. We like her. Shout out to Taylor.

Oh my god. Well, and I feel like people are, I don't mean this in a bad way, but they're very like we're all very self-centered, yeah, and self-absorbed. And so you're just thinking about yourself, how you're coming off, what you're wearing. Maybe you're uncomfortable, and you're so fixated on that. It's like that other person isn't analyzing you, yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. So wow. That is incredible. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we I knew a little bit of the story, what you said, and I remember you telling us about like the lymph node and um your tattoo, but I didn't know the extent of this.

Like, that's I mean, honestly, some stuff I like block out. I uh yeah, I know. I was telling Carly that too. Like, some things you just don't even remember what was said or what happened or when. But I mean, this is crazy.

You're gonna go home tonight and you're gonna be like, oh my gosh, I should have brought up this, or oh my gosh, this happened. And you just do feel like a release because I feel like that's how when we spoke to previous, like it just this really just helps to, and maybe you'll help somebody to think like, oh shit, I have something, like let me go check it out. Cause I feel like a lot of people don't think to go and and get checked.

No, I mean I should have been going just because of the amount of moles and stuff that I had in my body. I have a lot too. And you don't get checked ever? I mean, I had one removed when I was like 17. I think I was like 17. I can remember the pediatrician telling my mom, because I think I was like 16, 17, yeah, I was still going to pediatrician. Um,

okay.

When do you start going to a like the regular doctor? You were like I was in high school though. I was in high school. I'm not a pediatrician. Yeah, absolutely not. I go to a family doctor. That's what I got. Like, like, yeah, it's a family doctor.

You're making the church like sitting on the kids' table. Wait a minute on the wall. Oh my god, I'm pretty sure I'm in Chandler from Friends. I'd be like 30 and you're like, no, this was like you know, and then whatever. Yeah, nothing. But anyways, so I had gotten it taken off, but two, like just culturally, like people Eastern European, we I mean, everybody, my mom, uh we all have then. Um, and they took it off and then it was like fine. Yeah. Um, but yeah.

I had ones remove remove, I think when I was in like seventh or eighth grade. But then after that, like I never really that young? Mm-hmm. Jeez. But they came back like totally fine. And then I think I went at some point, but then like I stopped going because like I was fine, and then I was like, oh now I'm a big advocate for getting checked out.

Do you think like do you look back and say, like, do you think it's just genetic, or were those were there stuff like you were doing that you think, oh, this could have enhanced it?

Gosh, I went tanning all the time in high school. Yeah, like bad, like every single day. Like tanning beds. Yeah. Okay. And I feel like and like they wear sunscreen. That's like coming back, and I it worries me too. Like a lot of these teenagers, they think, you know, oh the UV. Like I've seen it on TikTok where they're like, oh, the UV is whatever. I need to go out and definitely. Man, I just I'm like, I'm like the old lady. I'm like wearing the hat and like sunglasses, and everyone's like, oh my god, you're so pale. Yeah, well, I'll use like fake tanners. Yeah, I don't care. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. In college, it was in high school, it was a huge thing for the tanning beds. Yeah, like the Playboy bunny on your stomach, or like the heart, yeah, and like not wearing the goggles when you're supposed to wear like oh yeah, and like the same tanning place is still open from when I was in high school, and I can't believe it. Yeah, like people still go. I think for a while, I feel like people like cut it out and they were doing spray tans. I mean that's what I think that too was the popular thing. Yes, I got into spray tans when I was like, I need to stop doing this, I don't want to get cancer or something like that because my mom has gotten numerous like pre-cancerous cells like off her face. So I get checked every year just because I want to be sure I'm okay. And I'm like, I'm again, I'm old too now, so it's like I'll just get sprayed and move on with life. I would go like the highest, I would burn just to like Wow, but you already so you had a lot of moles and you were doing that.

Yeah, so and then I like when I never wore like sunscreen, it was like the oil and stuff because you wanted to get like super tan. I laid out like all the time, like on vacations, like that's all I wanted to do was like get a tan. Um, and then afterwards I was very strict. I wore like sun shirts, had a hat on all the time. Like we went to Disney and it was 95 degrees, and I have long sleeves and like longer pants on and a hat because I was like, I'm not risking it. It was too soon. It was like Carson was almost one, so like I was still very oh yeah, I've gotten better, but I do wear like 50 is like the lowest that I'll wear. I wear sunscreen all the time now. Wow, and if I'm like in a pool, I typically will have a hat on, or I try to.

Yeah, wow. Well, after going through that, I'm sure you're like nothing is worth no tan or anything is worth going through all of this again.

Now I do all the fake tanning.

Yeah, yeah, I've gotten better at it because like oh my gosh, Kelly. Well, thank you again for like sharing that because I know that is such like an emotional journey, and you are like so brave and strong for going through all that, and you're such a happy, positive person, like you're always so uplifting. No, you really are. Thanks. So it's just like you never know what someone has gone through or what they're going through. So many times we like, especially as women, I feel like we're so strong and we don't talk about things, and we just like everything's okay and we'll fix it. But so many people have a story, and I just feel like it's so nice to hear individuals be vulnerable, and I feel like it can help too. Not only ourselves, like therapeutic, but also like other people out there that maybe have had an abtopic pregnancy or melanoma or MS or Bell's palsy or whatever that are going through something that it's like hard, and it's okay to be like, shit is hard, yeah.

You know, and like the first time you ever hear about it is when it like happens to you, right? Right, and then you're like, why doesn't people talk about this?

And then you bring it up to someone, they're like, Oh yeah, so like and then you hear these stories and you're like, Why don't people talk about this?

Because I mean it's nobody wants to bring like their own personal story up first, and it's like you're trying to have like a light-hearted conversation, you're like, Oh yeah, by the way, guess what I went through? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we just feel that this kind of what we're doing, you know, just to help others and you know, be able to know, like she said, it's a safe space. And you know, you thought, what did your husband say? What are you gonna talk about? Well, I mean, this is a big deal, yeah, absolutely. And it it does, it definitely releases a lot of pressure too. I'm sure you'll feel it like tomorrow, you're gonna go home and you'll be like, Oh my god, I feel like lighter.

I mean, I already do. I mean, a lot of that stuff I haven't told. Might be a little bit of a ticket. Yeah, might be a little bit of a ticket. But definitely it yeah. I mean, because like you typically when you talk about it, it's like at the surface. I've never gone into like that much detail before. Yeah. I think that it's good, it's healthy because otherwise you're just holding it all in, and that stress just kind of makes things, you know, pile up and it's always in the back of your head kind of thing.

It's crazy how we just move on too. Yeah, it's like keeps going, right? And it's like, okay, well, now I need to pack lunches tomorrow, and I need to get the laundry done, and I need to go to work, and but like yeah, we go through things and we're human. Everyone does, everyone has a story. So, yeah, again, thank you so much. We really appreciate you coming on here and sharing all that because it's not easy, and no, happy to.

Yeah, it benefits both of us because I got to have a little therapy session.

Yes, yes, it's a tequila. Yeah, there's a little lot more. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's probably there actually is more, it's probably just the ice. No water. There's a lot of

the kick at the end. Well, on that note, we're gonna throw more in here. Oh, geez. That's all lemonade and water. It is because the ice is malty. With a hint of tequila, with a hint. All right, well, thank you again, Kelly, for being on the show. We really appreciate it, and we definitely will have to have you back sometime.

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Yeah, it's fun. Yay. All right, well, we'll see you next time on Between Neighbors. Good night.